How to Give Great Compliments

By: Mike Robbins

"A genuine and powerful compliment is one of the best gifts we can give another human being. Think of some of the compliments you have received in your life…they stick out in your mind and resonate deep within your heart, don’t they?

The best part about compliments is that they are free and easy – we can give them all the time and they don’t take much on our part.

As easy as they are to give, many of us have a hard time effectively giving compliments to others. Whether it is because we are too busy, we forget to do it, we feel awkward and uncomfortable, or we just can’t find the right time or the right words, many of us struggle with the simple and powerful act of acknowledging others.

Here are some important components to remember when giving a compliment:

1) Be genuine. Any form of acknowledgment that you give has to be real, honest, and genuine if it is going to have any power or impact on the other person. There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. A powerful compliment must come from your heart and be real. A great way to make sure your compliment is honest is to do it in person and look the other person in the eye when you acknowledge them. It is very difficult to “blow smoke” when you connect with someone eye to eye and heart to heart.

2) Be specific. The more specific you are with your acknowledgement the better. Instead of telling someone that they are “great,” tell them what you think is great about them, what they did to inspire you, and/or specifically what you appreciate about them. By making your compliment specific it will not only have more power it will also inspire them to repeat the behavior and/or continue to develop the quality that you acknowledged.

3) Let them know how they impact you in a positive way. So often we express our compliments or acknowledgements as “judgments.” We say things like, “You’re smart, you’re funny, or I like you.” While there is nothing wrong with these statements, if you think about them they are really just judgments – positive judgments yes, but judgments nonetheless. If you tell someone they are smart, you could just as easily say they are stupid. However, if you let someone know how they have positively impacted you it is much more powerful. For example, you could tell them that listening to them talk inspires lots of great ides within you or that being around them makes you happy. Be specific and clear about what they did or what quality they have, AND, most importantly, the positive impact on you and your life.

4) Give without attachment. For a compliment to be effective, it must be given without attachment or expectation. If we give a compliment to get something in return from the other person, it is a manipulation not an acknowledgment. Acknowledge people simply because you want to, because you mean it, and because you want to let them know who they are and how they have positively impacted your life. If you notice that you want something in return or have an ulterior motive, you are not giving an authentic compliment.

5) Make sure they accept it. For a compliment to have real power, it is essential that it is fully accepted by the other person. At some deep level, you cannot control how other people take things and whether or not they truly let it in. However, you can tell if someone really takes your compliment or not. Often people will downplay it, blow it off, or even jokingly disagree with you and your compliment. Don’t let them do this – they rip you off and they rip themselves off in the process. People mostly do this because they are uncomfortable and are not sure how to truly let it in. If this happens, just look them in the eye, let them know that you really meant what you said, and remind them to just take it in and say “thank you.” You may feel a little pushy or awkward doing this, but if you are willing to say this with kindness, it will ultimately be a great gift for both you and the other person. More importantly, it will allow them to actually receive your gift/compliment.

Practice

See how many genuine compliments you can give this week. Make a list of the important people in your life that you want to acknowledge and start complimenting them. When you do, see if you can practice being genuine, being specific, letting them know their impact on you, giving without attachment, and making sure they accept your acknowledgment. As you do this, pay attention to what works and what doesn’t work.

There is no “right” way to do it, it is all about you practicing and becoming more comfortable and effective with your compliments. Have fun and expect miracles!
"

Mike Robbins is a an author, personal growth expert, and sought after keynote speaker who empowers individuals, organizations, and groups of all kinds to appreciate themselves and each other - thus leading to greater success, improved relationships, and increased fulfillment. Mike and his work have been featured on ABC News, the Oprah and Friends radio network, and in the Washington Post, among many others. Experience the positive impact of appreciation on yourself and those around you with this FREE PREVIEW of Mike’s bestselling book, FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF: The Power of Appreciation (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Click here now: Focus On The Good Stuff

 

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

How to Give Great Compliments

By: Mike Robbins

"A genuine and powerful compliment is one of the best gifts we can give another human being. Think of some of the compliments you have received in your life…they stick out in your mind and resonate deep within your heart, don’t they?

The best part about compliments is that they are free and easy – we can give them all the time and they don’t take much on our part.

As easy as they are to give, many of us have a hard time effectively giving compliments to others. Whether it is because we are too busy, we forget to do it, we feel awkward and uncomfortable, or we just can’t find the right time or the right words, many of us struggle with the simple and powerful act of acknowledging others.

Here are some important components to remember when giving a compliment:

1) Be genuine. Any form of acknowledgment that you give has to be real, honest, and genuine if it is going to have any power or impact on the other person. There are too many insincere compliments thrown around on a daily basis. A powerful compliment must come from your heart and be real. A great way to make sure your compliment is honest is to do it in person and look the other person in the eye when you acknowledge them. It is very difficult to “blow smoke” when you connect with someone eye to eye and heart to heart.

2) Be specific. The more specific you are with your acknowledgement the better. Instead of telling someone that they are “great,” tell them what you think is great about them, what they did to inspire you, and/or specifically what you appreciate about them. By making your compliment specific it will not only have more power it will also inspire them to repeat the behavior and/or continue to develop the quality that you acknowledged.

3) Let them know how they impact you in a positive way. So often we express our compliments or acknowledgements as “judgments.” We say things like, “You’re smart, you’re funny, or I like you.” While there is nothing wrong with these statements, if you think about them they are really just judgments – positive judgments yes, but judgments nonetheless. If you tell someone they are smart, you could just as easily say they are stupid. However, if you let someone know how they have positively impacted you it is much more powerful. For example, you could tell them that listening to them talk inspires lots of great ides within you or that being around them makes you happy. Be specific and clear about what they did or what quality they have, AND, most importantly, the positive impact on you and your life.

4) Give without attachment. For a compliment to be effective, it must be given without attachment or expectation. If we give a compliment to get something in return from the other person, it is a manipulation not an acknowledgment. Acknowledge people simply because you want to, because you mean it, and because you want to let them know who they are and how they have positively impacted your life. If you notice that you want something in return or have an ulterior motive, you are not giving an authentic compliment.

5) Make sure they accept it. For a compliment to have real power, it is essential that it is fully accepted by the other person. At some deep level, you cannot control how other people take things and whether or not they truly let it in. However, you can tell if someone really takes your compliment or not. Often people will downplay it, blow it off, or even jokingly disagree with you and your compliment. Don’t let them do this – they rip you off and they rip themselves off in the process. People mostly do this because they are uncomfortable and are not sure how to truly let it in. If this happens, just look them in the eye, let them know that you really meant what you said, and remind them to just take it in and say “thank you.” You may feel a little pushy or awkward doing this, but if you are willing to say this with kindness, it will ultimately be a great gift for both you and the other person. More importantly, it will allow them to actually receive your gift/compliment.

Practice

See how many genuine compliments you can give this week. Make a list of the important people in your life that you want to acknowledge and start complimenting them. When you do, see if you can practice being genuine, being specific, letting them know their impact on you, giving without attachment, and making sure they accept your acknowledgment. As you do this, pay attention to what works and what doesn’t work.

There is no “right” way to do it, it is all about you practicing and becoming more comfortable and effective with your compliments. Have fun and expect miracles!
"

Mike Robbins is a an author, personal growth expert, and sought after keynote speaker who empowers individuals, organizations, and groups of all kinds to appreciate themselves and each other - thus leading to greater success, improved relationships, and increased fulfillment. Mike and his work have been featured on ABC News, the Oprah and Friends radio network, and in the Washington Post, among many others. Experience the positive impact of appreciation on yourself and those around you with this FREE PREVIEW of Mike’s bestselling book, FOCUS ON THE GOOD STUFF: The Power of Appreciation (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Click here now: Focus On The Good Stuff

 

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Truth About Leadership - It's Good to Talk

By: Steven Sonsino

Business leaders generally don't 'do' anything. It's true.

They don't work on the factory conveyor belt, they don't write the sales copy, they don't service the computers.

What leaders do do is talk for a living.

If you're a senior executive, reflect for a moment on your typical day at work. The chances are that you spend most of your time in conversation with others. The people you talk with varies from day to day. Even from moment to moment.

You talk with your peers, your suppliers, your subordinates and even with your customers. (Though possibly not as much as you should.)

And the style of your conversation varies: it might be an apparently casual chat, or a formal meeting or a conference.

And yet many business leaders get very touchy if you suggest they spend their days talking. They retort: "Are you accusing me of being all talk and no action?"

Some leaders seem to see this as an insult. But it's not an insult - it's simply a way of describing what business leaders do.

When we call someone 'all talk and no action' we seem to be accusing them of wasting their time chatting and not getting anything done. However, if you're a successful leader, your conversations won't be unstructured and pointless. As a result of your conversations, things will happen. After all, 100 per cent of your 'action' should be to get other people to do things.

And if you get five or 20 people doing the right things, then you've achieved far more than if you tried to do the work of 20 people yourself.

Lead through others. And let your talk drive the actions of your people.

For every talker, there must be a listener.

But leaders don't listen. They just don't listen. It's true.

The 360 degree surveys that we do suggest that leaders are usually too full of themselves and their own ideas to listen to anyone else. They don't seem to value anyone else's ideas or opinions.

And yet, it's important to remember that a key part of good conversation is to be a good listener. This is a lesson that senior leaders need to learn today more than ever.

Why? Well suppose you want to introduce a change into a fast moving business. It's all very well deciding to take your organization in a particular direction, and it's all very well telling your staff what you want them to do. But how do you know they will do what you tell them? Unless you listen, you don't.

Secondly, how do you know that they've understood what you want them to do? Unless you listen, you don't. (You can hope.)

Thirdly, how do you know that your vision can be implemented as you saw it? Might someone lower in the organization have ideas that could make your vision better? Unless you listen, you have no way of knowing if there's a better way.

So stop right here.

Please listen: the only way to get the answers to any of these questions is to listen, systematically and deeply, to your people.

OK, if you lead a large department or organization, you won't be able to listen to everyone. But identify the key players and make sure you listen to them. Ask them how THEY see things working. That way THEY can get to grips with the details of the vision or strategy. And you can help them discover its strengths and weaknesses.

And, hey, you might even learn a thing or two yourself.

Conversation is a valuable tool, because it's not just a way of exchanging information. By listening to someone, really listening, you boost their self-respect and confidence.

And you can also motivate them to get it right. Sometimes senior executives forget how powerful this can be.

Benefits of listening:

If you learn how to listen effectively, you can gain information at three levels:
1. You can learn what's happening at the surface level to the people you're talking with - but, importantly, from their perspective, not our own.
2. You can learn how people feel about what's happening to them.
3. And you can learn how people feel about themselves.

Each of these levels can provide valuable information. Combined, they are a powerful leadership tool. They help you:
- Assess what the most important things going on in your organization right now are.
- Work out the implications for your business - what options they leave you with, or what options they create.
- And decide what to do now, if anything, as a result.

If you want the leadership success you deserve, get the leadership training you deserve. Download more free articles and leadership training videos from Steven Sonsino, an international business school professor and author of the Amazon bestseller "The Seven Failings of Really Useless Leaders" Get more FREE videos and articles right now: www.deathofleadership.com

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Ask for that Raise!

By: Kimberly Schenk

For nine years Jeff worked for company G as an engineer. Flying airplanes was his first love. His job came in a close second place. That changed when Jeff met Judy. Their relationship quickly turned serious and they married.

When Jeff and Judy sat down to do financial planning as a couple, Judy learned Jeff's salary was surprisingly low. With a human resource background, Judy knew the salary range for Jeff's type of work, and what his credentials were worth. Jeff was seriously underpaid.

Jeff was shocked and somewhat crestfallen. His attitude was, I'm lucky to do what I love AND GET PAID for having fun! As Jeff began to understand his market value he felt betrayed. Had he been duped? Had he been a fool for years? Was his company taking advantage of him? He wanted to keep his job. Asking for a raise was painful. The idea of asking for a 30% raise was excruciating!

With a wife and future family it was time for Jeff to pay attention to his compensation. Jeff sat down to write out his request. He was flooded with anger, frustration, fear of hearing no 'raise for you', and possibly the prospect of looking for another job. He felt disloyal yet asking to be paid a fair marketplace value was good business, not disloyalty. With a tug of war going on in his head, Jeff stayed focused on the conversation that would impact his future.

When he sat down with his boss Jeff got to the point. "I have worked here for nine years. My reviews have consistently been good to great. I've worked in several departments and handled every task assigned to me, competently. I love my job and have been very happy working here. I feel I'm underpaid and I am requesting a raise of $xx,xxx. I realize that's a 32% increase, however, I believe that's what my value is at this time. I know you need time to talk with upper management. When can I expect an answer?"

Jeff's boss was dumbfounded. Jeff was asking for seven times what their typical raise amount was, yet he sensed Jeff had a fresh understanding of his value and was dead serious. Jeff did not cloud his request with emotion, accusations, or justifications. Jeff did not threaten to leave if he did not get the raise. He stated his position and was specific about his needs.

Caught off guard, his boss simply said, "I hear you. Give me 48 hours to get you an answer." The next 48 hours were agonizing for Jeff and Judy. Finally, Jeff was called into his boss' office. "After careful consideration we are prepared to offer you $xx,xxx. That's a 30.5% increase. Will that work?"

Now Jeff was dumbfounded. He was thrilled he had made the request. "Yes. That works fine. When will it start?" was Jeff's response.

Jeff had newfound respect for himself and his credentials. He did what was right in his mind for his future. He had created an effective message. He spoke in words that were comfortable for him. Emotions could have derailed his request but Jeff was careful to check his statements against the one principle and edit out any ineffective comments. Negative messages can trigger resistance, or resentment. Jeff disliked conflict and was proud of his behavior.

We all live complicated lives. Using proven communication tools is easy when we simply get to know them. When we communicate effectively, we are able to omit ineffective tactics, knowing they are likely to foil our efforts.

Communicating well gives you an advantage. You can create outcomes that move your life forward and get your needs met consistently.

This is a true story. You too can address sensitive issues effectively. With one, easy to remember principle and ten communication skills, you can express your truth in your unique way, and know you said the right thing.

Kimberly Schenk has over 25 years experience in business. She created a simple communication method out of necessity. She shares her successful method with everyone who wants to see more of their needs met in her eBook, Mighty Mouth.Mighty Mouth

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Leadership Skills: How to Be a Successful Communicator

By: Jacqueline Moore

As a business leader, one of the most important leadership skills you'll ever demonstrate is knowing how to communicate. When you think about it, most business leadership consists of communication of one sort or another.

You hold meetings with staff or board members or suppliers, you interview potential managers, you meet customers and shareholders, you chat in the corridor or on the phone. All of these formal and informal moments offer you the chance to influence, to enthuse and to inspire.

So how can you make the most of these moments - how can you become a truly successful communicator?

Communication involves a variety of interactions. It involves discussing, and listening, and debating. But communication also often involves a senior executive passing on some information. This may seem a fairly simple task. But it's amazing how often business leaders don't give enough information, or shroud it in jargon, or tell the wrong people.

HOW you pass on information can significantly affect what happens next. If you want people (whether your staff or your suppliers or customers) to act on the information, you need to make sure they understand it. And that's not as simple as it sounds.

There are several lessons we can learn here from people whose whole business is communication. Journalists depend entirely on their words. And journalists are taught a range of tips and techniques for making their information compelling, interesting and easy to understand. Many of these techniques are just as useful for business executives, and are well worth exploring.

I've found that thinking about how news stories work in newspapers, for example, can help executives communicate complex messages in a simple, brief and yet memorable way, both in print and in person.

News stories are designed to grab our attention from the opening sentence. They try to tell us the news in simple, easy-to-understand language. And they don't assume we know much about the subject already. So when you as a business executive have some information to pass on, it's worth trying to compile it as a news story - that way, you won't miss out anything vital.

So what makes a good a news story? In an ideal world, the opening paragraph should:

- sum up the story
- have the most important facts first
- be short and punchy and contain only essential facts
- use emotive words early on
- possibly contain an appropriate quote
- appeal to the reader in his or her area, in his or her business, or because it affects his or her pocket or way of life.

That's a lot to fit into a few lines. So the easiest thing to do is make sure your opening paragraph answers all the questions a reader may have:
Who? What? How? Where? When? Why?

Take an example of a news story from a business newspaper:
Who? Former senior executives at X Corp
What? were arrested
How? by FBI agents
Where? in New York
When? today
Why? on suspicions of tax evasion.

This works equally well when you're announcing something to your staff (the order in which you answer the questions can vary):
Who? I (John Doe, CEO of Y Company,)
What? want to thank
Where? all of you in our Toronto division
Why? for raising sales an impressive 5 per cent
When? in the fourth quarter
How? and invite you all to a celebration lunch next week.

In a news story, it's important not to venture your own opinion or comment. The above item may appear to cross this line - it describes the sales increase as 'impressive' - but further down in the story (or in the internal memo or in the email to staff) the writer could justify the use of the word 'impressive' by comparing it with the target or with increases in previous quarters.

If the fundamental purpose of news is to inform, it's essential that you allow your readers to make up their own minds on the information you provide. Do not try to sell your own opinion as fact.

To sum up, the crucial point to remember when you're communicating information is that the most important information should appear first. If you do that, answering all the questions as suggested, there's a good chance that you'll get your message across and that everyone will understand it.

If you want the leadership success you deserve, get the leadership training you deserve. Download more free articles and leadership training videos from business journalist Jacqueline Moore and Steven Sonsino, authors of the Amazon bestseller "The Seven Failings of Really Useless Leaders" Get more FREE videos and articles right now: www.deathofleadership.com

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Giving Constructive Criticism to People

By: LeeDavidhcz

A fellow coworker wanders into your office one morning, and begs you to critique their project. “Rip it to shreds!” they say! So you, being the honest person that you are, go on and do just that. You leave your coworker stunned and heartbroken - they didn’t realize their project was so bad that it required a 10 minute speech on how terrible it was!

Asking for feedback in a specific way is vital to receiving useful feedback. But what about giving feedback? How do you give constructive criticism to somebody? There are three easy steps, all of which will be elaborated further on:

1. First, find the good in the project, and point it out.
2. Next, point out specific problem spots and how they can be fixed.
3. Last, if applicable and needed, offer to help them remedy those problems.

First Rule: Point out the good!

If Sally the 4th grader went to Jim and asked Jim to critique her science fair project, and Jim gave her an absolutely scathing review, how would little Sally feel? Would Sally ever go to Jim for advice again? Would Sally even fix what Jim commented on?

The point is simple: if you want to give criticism that will be looked at, regardless of who you’re dealing with, before anything, point out what they did right. When most people are asked to point out what’s wrong with something, they do just that. They point out the wrong! But do you necessarily have to talk about what’s wrong first? Nobody said you couldn’t point out good things right off the bat! By showing the person that they did do things right and some of the project can be salvaged, you build rapport with the other person, and they’re more receptive to the advice you give. Which statement would you rather hear:

1. “The charts need more color, your outline for the presentation seems just a bit sloppy, and you don’t seem as prepared as I thought you would be.”
2. “You did such a nice job organizing everything! Everything is so clear and the outline is so fluid. However, if I were you, I would use blue instead of red for the charts, restructure the outline *just* a little bit to make the ending sound more cohesive, and practice the presentation in front of the mirror for about an hour to make sure I could nail it. Nice job!”

Okay, okay, maybe the examples are slightly exaggerated. My point still stands - show them the good first, then what needs to be fixed. You’ll sound nicer.

Second Rule: Be specific in your criticisms.

Pretend you have a presentation tomorrow at 2:30pm, and you want to get it perfected as much as you can. You ask your coworker how they would fix it up, and they remark “Oh, well, I like it just the way it is! I wouldn’t change anything.” How would you feel? Irritated?

If somebody asks you for criticism and they really need it, don’t be vague! It’s probably the worst time to give some murky critiques to them. Instead, be super specific. Target exact things - don’t mess with the generalities that anybody can point out. Tell them, very specifically and straightforward, what needs to be fixed, in no uncertain terms. When people are given general statements on what can be improved, in reality, nothing gets improved.

If I tell you that I don’t like how your entire presentation is structured, does that really help you any? Would you even switch it up? On the other hand, if I tell you that Sections 1 and 2 need to be switched around, the segue between the last main point and the ending needs to be clarified, and the title should sound more specific to the subject matter, would you take more initiative to fix up the presentation? Clarity makes all the difference.

Third Rule: Offer help if you can.

It’s not your project, and it’s not your problem - does that mean you can’t offer help once in a while? Sure, sometimes you can’t help because your plate is too full, or you don’t have the resources (nor patience) to help out that person. But sometimes it’s nice to really help out another person when they need it, especially if your feedback to them is something they’ll have a hard time fixing on their own - maybe they don’t have the people or resources like you do to fix what you suggested. You don’t have to help out every time - that would turn unbearable - but just to the people who’ll need it. It’d mean the world to them.

Giving criticism isn’t too hard, but by using just a few tricks, you can start giving more worthwhile feedback to people. They’ll be more appreciative!

Read more of my articles Rapport And Body Language | Communicate Better
Click here to read more on success.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Covering Letter - A Clear and Concise Introduction

By: Gen Wright

Are you seeking work or making a formal proposal to a peer? Then you want to understand the purpose and composition of the covering letter to accompany your resume, application, email, or facsimile.

The covering letter is a short introduction to your main document, generally used to accompany an application or resume for employment. Cover letters should be short and to the point. If you are submitting a resume, you do not need to repeat information in the covering letter. When accompanying your resume, you want that cover letter to highlight the main reason you are writing this person or company, what relevant skills or qualifications you have and why you believe you should be considered for the post.

The main reason for a covering letter is to allow an employee to make a first introduction and so an employer can get a general feel of the applicant's manner and nature. This is why a covering letter is vital to any application as it is like the opening pages of a book. You want to ensure your application is eye-catching and a good covering letter will allow you to do this.

Cover letters should be set out in the same fashion as a letter and include the following items:

1. The employment post your application is relevant to.

2. Full title of person to whom it is directed or a polite heading, “Dear Sir or Madame” or “To Whom It May Concern” if you do not have their name.

3. Brief one or two line informative statement of why you are contacting them and a reference to what topic or position. (This could also be a “re: item” above spaced across from the heading) This is the area in which you would also indicate any referral information, such as who told you about this job.

4. Briefly highlight what you feel is your best reason for being considered for this job or loan or whatever you are applying for.

5. Polite closing, “Thank you” or “Thank you for your consideration; please feel free to contact me”, or, “I will be contacting you this week, thank you”

You need to keep your covering letter "short and sweet" as it accompanies the main document and you do not wish to bore the receiver. It is important to be concise and clear. If they do not get past your covering letter, your resume will not be seen. Your resume needs to be concise and well organized. Do not include too much, for example irrelevant employment that you held thirty years ago.

At the bottom of your covering letter, just below the closing, you may list what attachments are included. This is your opportunity to show that you have paid attention to their ad by submitting any items they requested be submitted, such as references, salary requirements, etc.

A general rule of thumb, do not go beyond one page. Save the rest for the interview by keeping the employer interest and wanting to invite for an interview personally. A solid application contained within a concise template should assist you in establishing an interview. Good luck!

Khalid Al-Khames is a University Graduate from Edinburgh in Scotland. After Graduating in 2007, Khalid decided to setup Covering Letter, a useful covering letter resource.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Meaning Of Your Communication Is....

By: Rashid Kotwal

…the response you get (and it may not be what you intended).

Got this email last night…

"We were going to book in for one of your workshops until we made a call to your office & whoever answered the phone was basically rude so we forgot about booking in

Pls delete me from your group emails"

Now I don't know about you, but if I get something like this, I sit up and take notice.

Barbara and I run a small business and the last thing we want to be is rude on the phone. We're even polite to the ubiquitous cold callers trying to sell us mobile phones, holidays and dubious investment strategies involving horse racing.

So what could have gone wrong?

My first reaction was that they'd called and got a wrong number so I wrote back…

"Hi ,

First of all thank you taking the time to let me know. Now just so I can clarify, can you remember approximately when you called and was it a man or woman who answered the phone.

Reason I ask is the only 2 people who would pick up the phone are either my wife Barbara or myself (and if we're not here it goes to voicemail) so I'm wondering if you might have got a wrong number and got someone who had no idea what you were talking about?"

This morning I called the gentleman in question to dig deeper and further clarify.

Well we had a very pleasant conversation and all was revealed - well sort of…

Around early March I'd had a call from the gentleman's secretary. She wanted to know if we were legitimate and not some scam organisation.

Now I was about to run out the door to another appointment, but spoke to her at length and in my mind (and this is the operative bit - my mind) gave her the information she wanted, offered some references she could talk to and generally thought all was well.

She said she'd talk to her boss and get back to me. So far so good.

Barbara followed up a few weeks later and left a message - no response. Now given that she thought I was rude and difficult to do business with - hardly surprising.

Anyway, we cleared the air, both agreeing there must have been a miscommunication somewhere.

Now let me be quite clear. I in no way blame his secretary. I AM RESPONSIBLE for my message and making sure the other person really understands where I'm coming from. Hence the statement - "The meaning of your communication is the response you get".

Now you're probably wondering why I'm bothering to write a newsletter around this…

Well, Barbara and I teach communication skills. We teach people how to understand and get into the other person's shoes and gain rapport, facilitate buying decisions from them and form long lasting relationships.

But we don't always get it right and when we don't it can cost dearly - and I don't mean just financially. By not checking if my communication was received in the way I intended, we potentially lost the chance to develop what could have been a meaningful win-win relationship over time.

Luckily the gentleman in question took the time to write to me and not just silently cross me off his list. And I thank him for that.

So ask yourself… how are you communicating? Is your message being received the way you want it to be? Are people silently crossing you off their lists?

Rashid Kotwal is an international speaker and author who specializes in on-line and off-line strategies for direct response marketing and sales optimization. He works with sales organizations want to get more business, faster and with less wasted effort. You can find more information at Sales & Marketing Consulting and Get Clients Online Fast. Copyright Rashid Kotwal.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Inspiring Leader - Top 10 Language Tips To Inspire Others

By: Trevor Hill

Choosing your language carefully will have a big influence on your ability to inspire other people. Great orators and speech-makers know all about this and we can learn from them. We can also learn from psychology and how language works.

Let's be clear: this is nothing about manipulating the truth. The first principle is to be honest; other people will respect your integrity. Yet there are simple adjustments you can make to your language which will increase the likelihood that your listeners will be inspired.

These changes to your language work in two ways: they avoid sabotaging your message and they also empower your listeners. Here are my top 10 tips:

1. Use the inclusive 'we'. Using 'we' rather than the isolated 'I' is much more likely to inspire. If you look at famous motivational speeches in history - such as those from Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, Barack Obama - you will find that they are all use inclusive language.

2. Describe a compelling future. Fill in as much detail as you can. People are inspired by aiming for a better future. This is another characteristic of the famous speeches already mentioned.

3. Engage the attention you want by using sensory language. This is done by choosing words that directly appeal to the senses: use visual words (eg. see, focus, view, scene, horizon); aural words (eg. hear, loud, whisper, harmony); kinesthetic words (eg. feel, grip, hold, touch, texture).

4. Choose language that encourages others to look for what they want rather than what they don't want. The law of attraction means that you get more of what you put your attention on. Therefore it makes sense to help others to put their attention on desired outcomes.

5. Presuppose that together you will succeed. This conveys an optimistic tone and it clearly signals your expectations. We all have an inclination to live up to (or down to!) expectations so it makes sense to set them high. Phrase statements as 'When we reach ...' rather than 'If we reach...' Express yourself in the positive rather than the negative: make it clear what the objective is rather than what it isn't.

6. Use language that is consistent with your actions - walk the talk. If your actions are not congruent, your language will be undermined and taken as merely hot air.

7. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Be clear as you can and check that your audience has understood the meaning you intended. Ultimately, the meaning of any communication is the response you get from it, so if you're not getting the response you hoped for you need to communicate more clearly.

8. Use 'Yes and...'. If someone comes to you with a suggestion and you reply 'Yes but...' they hear that straightaway that you are cancelling their suggestion with you own. This is deflating for them and discourages them from participating in the future. Simply changing 'but' to 'and' makes your reply additional to their original suggestion. It gives them recognition that there may be value in their idea.

9. Ask instead of assume. It's easy to fall into the trap of mind-reading. We see a certain behaviour and we assume we know the reason for it. Then, to make matters worse, we act on the assumption! It's far better to ask the necessary questions to find out what is really going on. This sensitivity to the people around you will encourage a stronger sense of connection and enhance the degree of influence you have.

10. Keep your sense of humour! Sharing a joke appropriately and seeing the funny side of a situation are both part of a healthy team. Humour can strengthen relationships and keep the human dimension in sight.

You can experiment with these tips to see what works best for you. One option is to focus on one at a time, say one each week, so can you get experience using it in a number of situations. As it becomes part of your natural language, you can move on to the next tip. Then you will see from the reaction of people around you how you can be successful at inspiring others.

Trevor helps leaders who want to inspire the people they lead. If you found this article useful, you may want to read 'Leadership Starts Here' www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk/articles/essentialStep.php If you would like to receive regular articles like this one or get a FREE copy of Trevor's 'Passport To Inspiration' simply sign-up at www.inspiration-at-work.co.uk

 

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Four-Second Rule for Improved Communications

By: Susanne Gaddis

"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Chances are you've come across this phrase sometime during your life. This piece of advice has been passed down for generations for a good reason--it's excellent advice.

I'm sure if you think about it--okay, think hard now--you can come up with a few instances when you've said things that you wish you could take back. Whether you spoke during a time when you were stressed, angry, disappointed or frustrated, or you offered up a piece of unsolicited advice during a period of relative calm, thinking about what you said still triggers feelings of discomfort and regret.

Okay, I admit it, in the past, like so many others, I've been a victim of the "open mouth/insert foot" syndrome. Upon occasion I've also been self-diagnosed with the "open mouth/insert leg" syndrome. Yes, there are times when, as a communicator, I've wanted to crawl under a big rock.

If you're prone to saying things that you later regret, here's my best advice: STOP! And, to aid you in this effort, I'd like to share with you the "Four-Second Rule" for better communications.

I hit upon the Four-Second Rule when working with individuals at NASA. During one of my communication workshops, a participant shared that astronauts are trained to make critical decisions in four seconds. So, in the same four seconds that the average person thinks, "Hmmm, do I want a Coke or Pepsi," astronauts are trained to make decisions which may affect whether or not they will successfully return to earth.

So what does the Four-Second Rule have to do with communications? Everything. Throughout the day as communicators we make critical decisions: what we say, the tone we use, who we communicate with, and what non-verbal messages we'll use to accompany our communication. Just think of how much better our relationships will be when, before we start to communicate, we take four seconds to consider the impact that our message will have.

Picture yourself in a stressful scenario where you need to communicate your feelings to someone. Now apply the Four-Second Rule:

Second #1- Take a deep breath and consider what it is that you want to say. Determine the point you want to make and what you'd like for the outcome to be. Realize that some words build up relationships and some words tear them down. Choose your words wisely.

Second #2 - Consider the tone of voice that you'll use. A calm and friendly tone certainly beats a tone that is loud, harsh, condescending, or sewn with sarcasm. If you know that you're "not in the mood" to be talking about something, then DON'T. Similarly, don't deliver messages that you know that you'll be apologizing for later, as doing so puts unnecessary strain on relationships.

Second #3- Make sure you're about to communicate your message to the right person. Misplaced anger or frustration is at the core of many communication problems. If you have an issue with a doctor, communicate that directly to him or her. Don't misdirect your communication to others on the unit, as doing so only contaminates the communications climate.

Second #4 - Consider your non-verbal behavior and how it contributes to or distracts from your message. When delivering your message, face the person, make eye contact and have an open stance. Remember, eye contact is one of the biggest indicators of how a relationship is going. Eliminate huffing, puffing, groaning and eye rolling from your non-verbal vocabulary. By doing so, you are guaranteed to increase the likelihood that positive communication will ensue.

Sometimes we need to "take a step back, to take a step forward." By using this Four Second countdown you'll communicate in a way that will keep others from going into orbit around you. And as those at NASA might say, by using the Four- Second Rule you will successfully complete your mission by keeping your communications down to earth.

Susanne Gaddis, PhD, known as the Communications Doctor, is an acknowledged communications expert. Past clients include: NASA, Oracle, Schlumberger, and the American Nurses Association. For free articles written by Dr. Gaddis, visit: http://www.CommunicationsDoctor.com To book Dr. Gaddis for your next conference, retreat, or workshop call 919-933-3237

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Better Communication Equals More Effective Leadership

By: Chris Hammer

When I started coaching some time back, I made it my mission to absorb as much information as I could about leadership (specifically in the areas of interpersonal effectiveness and good communication): devouring books on leadership models, leadership coaching, business, etc. I interviewed leaders on different levels in different sectors, and noted their common themes and struggles. I spoke with numerous teams to hear their experiences...

Eventually I hit that place of circular learning: where whatever you read or do, you encounter the same themes. The 'nothing new under the sun' phenomenon (or what they refer to in some research models as 'saturation').

And really, the themes are not difficult: if you ask a bunch of lay-people what types of leadership communication and relationship styles they believe to be most effective, they would come up with similar ideas.

So I began to think that this was too easy: that this knowledge isn't rocket science, and that the paradigm shift from a harsh micro-management, or a disconnected, style of leadership to a more effective 'people-centered' approach clearly must have already happened without me. I thought that maybe I missed the ball and that I'd have to redefine my niche.

But to this day, whenever I speak with teams, I know that I was way off base with my presumption. Over and over I continue to hear the same complaints: a lack of strong leadership - particularly in terms of unclear, autocratic, or even no communication.

I know that there are also some very effective leadership styles that aren't exactly what you'd call 'people-friendly' - and that different situations call for different responses. But all in all, I think we know what works best for the majority of circumstances and environments.

But why do many of us revert to old habits, or continue to do what goes against what we know to be a better way?

We do this for a number of reasons. First of all, because we're human. And most of us are not villains: we do what we need to do to get the job done quickly for the higher good or common goal - whether our delivery is popular or not (and this certainly does take some courage). We also tend to revert back to automatic ways of being when we're under stress.

And change is hard.

But to sustain a change we need to remain conscious of the alignment, or misalignment, of our intentions and our actions - and we need to understand and buy into why it might be important to practice a more people-centered approach (hint: things like morale and retention; better group cohesion leading to better initiatives; reduced conflict and stress - you get the idea).

We need to purposely and consistently examine our habits, patterns, and beliefs - and not be afraid to venture out of our comfort zones to experiment with different styles.

As leaders, this 'venturing out' is quite often our norm. So why not in the areas of interpersonal relationships and more emotionally-intelligent communication?

The best way to do this is to ask for specific and honest feedback from those most impacted by our actions: by asking how we come across now, and what might work better (and, of course, being willing to hear it). In addition, hiring a coach to help identify developmental opportunities, and staying on track with them, can be a very effective strategy.

Chris Hammer, Ph.D. is a certified professional coach and licensed psychologist. He offers leadership and life coaching services, as well as various coaching ebooks for people who are passionate about their personal and professional growth. www.mycoachingbooks.com

 

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Leadership & Communication: 5 Positive Attitudes in Communication

By: Muyiwa Omole

The power to lead is the power to communicate
David Sarndoff
There is nothing quite so wonderful as a good idea, there is nothing as tragic as a good idea which cannot be communicated –
Donald Ely

There can never be leadership without communication. Communication is about effecting a change in your audience’s attitude. It is about motivating people to action.
Communication is not about impressing people. I have seen that a lot of communicators just only succeed in impressing their audience. But communication is about influencing people and not about impressing them. Impressing someone changes what he/she thinks about you but influencing someone changes what they do because of you.
Leaders care little about the impression they make instead they strive to influence others to positive action.

TEN SENTENCES CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
The Gettysburg Address is one of the most memorable speeches of American history, delivered by Abraham Lincoln at the scene of the Civil War’s most costly battles. In only ten sentences, Lincoln was able to not only encapsulate the great truths he wanted to convey, but to communicate them powerfully and memorably.
Did you know there was another speaker on the dais that day in Gettysburg? His name was Edward Everett. A senator who was considered the most skilled orator of his time, he traveled around the country addressing audiences. He was the equivalent of today’s professional speaker. Eloquent, he was also long-winded his speech lasted for nearly two hours. Lincoln’s Ten Sentences trumped Everett’s two hours’.
Great leaders are not evaluated on their eloquence, but on their impact.
The question now is how do I communicate with power as a leader? How can my communication have impact on my audience?
In this article, I want to share a principle of communication with you. It is known as the “Ah! I See The Sea” model.
Actually, it is more of a principle than a model. It suggests that there are 5 major negative attitudes you will have to overcome in your audience. And that instead, there are other 5 positive attitudes you will need to create in them.

These positive attitudes are:
A I C D C
Attention Interest Conviction Desire Commitment

To easily remember the AICDC acronym, we use the phrase: Ah! I See The Sea
A I C D C
Ah I See The Sea

5 Positive Attitudes of Communication
1. Attention
2. Interest
3. Conviction
4. Desire
5. Commitment

1. ATTENTION
Whether meeting a person for the first time or getting introduced to a new product, a new idea or concept, people tend to put up a negative attitude of rejection at first. It might be a new concept from a familiar person (A leader introducing a new idea to his team), a new person reaching people from a familiar platform (a sales man marketing a familiar product) or a new concept from an entirely new person (a salesman trying to sell a new product), the first sub-conscious attitude to expect is Rejection: “Who is this?”, “What is he talking about?” What does he want with me?”, “Oh No, not another salesman”. These are some of the hidden concerns in the mind of your audience.
I said earlier that communication is about seeking to effect change. You want to change your audience’s attitude. And wherever change is expected, expect resistance. People want to defend and protect what they already know or possess. So the average person is reacting with rejection inside of him.
But you as a communicator need to get a positive attitude from your audience. What positive attitude? ATTENTION.
The only thing people have less of today, apart from disposable income and time, is attention. An effective communicator must then develop the skill of gaining people’s attention. Did I hear you say how? Here are some tips:
Always endeavor to start your message or speech with a “you” centered statement i.e. be listener-centered. Most likely start your message with a sincere compliment. Don’t start your communication by focusing on yourself. You can start by appreciating the person or audience for granting you the opportunity to speak to them in the first place.
A simple and sincere compliment about a person’s appearance or reputation, a sincere compliment about a congregation’s efforts on a building project, a sincere compliment about a business firm’s performance or market drive will do for a “you” centered entry. But DO NOT flatter. Don’t overdo the listener-centered stuff. Don’t take it to the extreme.
Another listener-centered method is to connect with your audience by saying something in his/her/their local language or dialect. In the same vein, every business organization or corporation has its own local language. Get yourself acquainted with the business culture of your audience.

2. INTEREST
Apart from rejection, your audience is likely to put up INDIFFERENCE. As a good communicator, you have to overcome it and replace it with another positive attitude, which is INTEREST.
It is at this stage that you will need to arouse the interest of your audience. You have to skillfully make him interested in your message or product. The keyword here is NEED, your audience’s need. You will have to link your product with the need of your audience. This is where you ask yourself the question: ‘Why is my message/product important to my audience?’ Until your audience becomes interested in your product/project/message, you cannot convince him to take action.
So, how do you arouse interest? Here are some tips: Make a big claim. You will have to say something that will make your audience say to himself:
“Wow! If that is true, I want to listen to everything he has to say”

But please DO NOT exaggerate. Don’t ever overstate the value of your products. Don’t tell people what they want to hear. Tell them what they NEED to hear. Just make sure you tell them in such a way that they will listen. Be realistic.

3. CONVICTION
Your audience is likely to move from indifference to SKEPTICISM. At this stage, your audience is questioning the authenticity of your claim in his mind. The field here is your audience’s mind. What you need to do at this stage is to give all the facts and figures related to your claim you made.
This stage is important because you are trying to overcome skepticism and gain a positive attitude: CONVICTION. To get your audience interested is not enough, you have to convince him. He has to be convinced that he needs what you have to offer. The way to convince is to be factual and give evidence lavishly.

4. DESIRE
This is the fourth stage. If you’ve succeeded in convincing your audience, then you’ve succeeded in changing his mind. Now the field moves from his mind to his emotion. What if your audience starts saying things like his mind “Well, I think it’s a nice idea, but not right now…”, “may be later.”
By this I mean your audience is exhibiting a negative attitude: PROCRASTINATION. He is convinced quite alright, but he is about to postpone his decision or commitment.
This is the stage that King Agrippa got to when Paul was addressing him, but he never made a decision (Acts 26:28-30). When you notice this in your audience, what do you do?
Create a positive attitude to counter procrastination. Create DESIRE.
Create a desire in him/her/them. Challenge your audience to DREAM about the end result. To convince him you worked on his mind, here you have to work on his emotion. You use words like “just imagine…” Create a dream. Tantalize his imagination. And as you do this, prepare to take him to the next level.

5. COMMITMENT
As you are trying to create a desire in your audience, please know that there is something that is keeping him away from taking action: FEAR. This is the fifth and the last negative attitude you have to deal with in your audience.
How can you help your audience take away fear?
Simple.
Give a call to action. Give a clear invitation for action. Give him hope and take away his fear. You have worked on his mind; you have worked on his emotion now the field moves to his WILL. This is the time to demand for the ultimate positive attitude: COMMITMENT.
It will be a waste to communicate and never ask for action. Scholars of Roman history say that when Cicero spoke, people marveled. When Caesar spoke, people marched. Cicero was impressive. Caesar was influential. What a difference!
Great messages end with a call to action. Todd Beamer, a hero on hijacked flight united 93, September 11 2001 made famous the phrase “Let’s roll”. His action and those of his colleagues may well have saved many lives.
Too many communicate without a clear call to action. Every email, phone call, conversation, speech or message can and probably should conclude with “Let’s do it” indicated: Let’s move forward, take the next step, get involved, play your part etc.
The five stages don’t have to always follow the order as highlighted above, but the ultimate is always COMMITMENT.

I want you to also note that it is not compulsory to push your audience to the level of commitment in a day or in a single contact. Be sensitive. Don’t push your audience. Don’t abuse the opportunity. Make sure by the time you are leaving your audience will be willing to have you around next time.
The “Ah! I See The Sea” Principle works. It works every time. It works everywhere. It works for marketing, advertisement, recruitment, fund raising, counseling, and even preaching.
Try it.

FIVE POSITIVE ATTITUDES GRID
ATTITUDE TO OVERCOME REJECTION INDIFFERENCE SKEPTICISM PROCRASTINATION FEAR
KEYWORD ENTRY NEED SOLUTION DREAM ACTION
HOW TO HANDLE • Be listener-centered
• Sincere compliment
• Speak audience language • Make a big claim
• Be Realistic
• Well - Worded • Facts and Figures
• Related Benefit
• Evidence Just Imagine • Clear Invitation
• Take away Fear
DESIRED ATTITUDE ATTENTION INTEREST CONVICTION DESIRE COMMITMENT
MIND EMOTION WILL

Leadership & Communication: 5 Positive Attitudes in Communication

The power to lead is the power to communicate
David Sarndoff
There is nothing quite so wonderful as a good idea, there is nothing as tragic as a good idea which cannot be communicated –
Donald Ely

There can never be leadership without communication. Communication is about effecting a change in your audience’s attitude. It is about motivating people to action.
Communication is not about impressing people. I have seen that a lot of communicators just only succeed in impressing their audience. But communication is about influencing people and not about impressing them. Impressing someone changes what he/she thinks about you but influencing someone changes what they do because of you.
Leaders care little about the impression they make instead they strive to influence others to positive action.
Great leaders are not evaluated on their eloquence, but on their impact.
The question now is how do I communicate with power as a leader? How can my communication have impact on my audience?
In this article, I want to share a principle of communication with you

5 Positive Attitudes of Communication
6. Attention
7. Interest
8. Conviction
9. Desire
10. Commitment

1. ATTENTION
Whether meeting a person for the first time or getting introduced to a new product, a new idea or concept, people tend to put up a negative attitude of rejection at first. It might be a new concept from a familiar person (A leader introducing a new idea to his team), a new person reaching people from a familiar platform (an itinerant pastor or a new pastor in an old parish) or a new concept from an entirely new person (a salesman trying to sell a new product), the first sub-conscious attitude to expect is Rejection: “Who is this?”, “What is he talking about?” What does he want with me?”, “Oh No, not another missionary”. These are some of the hidden concerns in the mind of your audience.
I said earlier that communication is about seeking to effect change. You want to change your audience’s attitude. And wherever change is expected, expect resistance. People want to defend and protect what they already know or possess. So the average person is reacting with rejection inside of him.
But you as a communicator need to get a positive attitude from your audience. What positive attitude? ATTENTION.
The only thing people have less of today, apart from disposable income and time, is attention. An effective communicator must then develop the skill of gaining people’s attention. Did I hear you say how? Here are some tips:
Always endeavour to start your message or speech with a “you” centered statement i.e. be listener-centered. Most likely start your message with a sincere compliment. Don’t start your communication by focusing on yourself. You can start by appreciating the person or audience for granting you the opportunity to speak to them in the first place.
A simple and sincere compliment about a person’s appearance or reputation, a sincere compliment about a congregation’s efforts on a building project, a sincere compliment about a business firm’s performance or market drive will do for a “you” centered entry. But DO NOT flatter. Don’t overdo the listener-centered stuff. Don’t take it to the extreme.

2. INTEREST
Apart from rejection, your audience is likely to put up INDIFFERENCE. As a good communicator, you have to overcome it and replace it with another positive attitude, which is INTEREST.
It is at this stage that you will need to arouse the interest of your audience. You have to skillfully make him interested in your message or product. The keyword here is NEED, your audience’s need. You will have to link your product with the need of your audience. This is where you ask yourself the question: ‘Why is my message/product important to my audience?’ Until your audience becomes interested in your product/project/message, you cannot convince him to take action.
So, how do you arouse interest? Here are some tips: Make a big claim. You will have to say something that will make your audience say to himself:
“Wow! If that is true, I want to listen to everything he has to say”
But please DO NOT exaggerate. Don’t ever overstate the value of your products. Don’t tell people what they want to hear. Tell them what they NEED to hear. Just make sure you tell them in such a way that they will listen. Be realistic.

3. CONVICTION
Your audience is likely to move from indifference to SKEPTICISM. At this stage, your audience is questioning the authenticity of your claim in his mind. The field here is your audience’s mind. What you need to do at this stage is to give all the facts and figures related to your claim you made.
This stage is important because you are trying to overcome skepticism and gain a positive attitude: CONVICTION. To get your audience interested is not enough, you have to convince him. He has to be convinced that he needs what you have to offer. The way to convince is to be factual and give evidence lavishly.

4. DESIRE
This is the fourth stage. If you’ve succeeded in convincing your audience, then you’ve succeeded in changing his mind. Now the field moves from his mind to his emotion. What if your audience starts saying things like his mind “Well, I think it’s a nice idea, but not right now…”, “may be later
By this I mean your audience is exhibiting a negative attitude: PROCRASTINATION. He is convinced quite alright, but he is about to postpone his decision or commitment.
Create a positive attitude to counter procrastination. Create DESIRE.
Create a desire in him/her/them. Challenge your audience to DREAM about the end result. To convince him you worked on his mind, here you have to work on his emotion. You use words like “just imagine…” Create a dream. Tantalize his imagination. And as you do this, prepare to take him to the next level.

5. COMMITMENT
As you are trying to create a desire in your audience, please know that there is something that is keeping him away from taking action: FEAR. This is the fifth and the last negative attitude you have to deal with in your audience.
How can you help your audience take away fear?
Simple.
Give a call to action. Give a clear invitation for action. Give him hope and take away his fear. You have worked on his mind; you have worked on his emotion now the field moves to his WILL. This is the time to demand for the ultimate positive attitude: COMMITMENT.
It will be a waste to communicate and never ask for action. For pastors, don’t leave that pulpit without giving a call for action.
Scholars of Roman history say that when Cicero spoke, people marveled. When Caesar spoke, people marched. Cicero was impressive. Caesar was influential. What a difference!
The five stages don’t have to always follow the order as highlighted above, but the ultimate is always COMMITMENT.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

Leadership & Communication: 5 Positive Attitudes in Communication

By: Muyiwa Omole

The power to lead is the power to communicate
David Sarndoff
There is nothing quite so wonderful as a good idea, there is nothing as tragic as a good idea which cannot be communicated –
Donald Ely

There can never be leadership without communication. Communication is about effecting a change in your audience’s attitude. It is about motivating people to action.
Communication is not about impressing people. I have seen that a lot of communicators just only succeed in impressing their audience. But communication is about influencing people and not about impressing them. Impressing someone changes what he/she thinks about you but influencing someone changes what they do because of you.
Leaders care little about the impression they make instead they strive to influence others to positive action.

TEN SENTENCES CAN CHANGE THE WORLD
The Gettysburg Address is one of the most memorable speeches of American history, delivered by Abraham Lincoln at the scene of the Civil War’s most costly battles. In only ten sentences, Lincoln was able to not only encapsulate the great truths he wanted to convey, but to communicate them powerfully and memorably.
Did you know there was another speaker on the dais that day in Gettysburg? His name was Edward Everett. A senator who was considered the most skilled orator of his time, he traveled around the country addressing audiences. He was the equivalent of today’s professional speaker. Eloquent, he was also long-winded his speech lasted for nearly two hours. Lincoln’s Ten Sentences trumped Everett’s two hours’.
Great leaders are not evaluated on their eloquence, but on their impact.
The question now is how do I communicate with power as a leader? How can my communication have impact on my audience?
In this article, I want to share a principle of communication with you. It is known as the “Ah! I See The Sea” model.
Actually, it is more of a principle than a model. It suggests that there are 5 major negative attitudes you will have to overcome in your audience. And that instead, there are other 5 positive attitudes you will need to create in them.

These positive attitudes are:
A I C D C
Attention Interest Conviction Desire Commitment

To easily remember the AICDC acronym, we use the phrase: Ah! I See The Sea
A I C D C
Ah I See The Sea

5 Positive Attitudes of Communication
1. Attention
2. Interest
3. Conviction
4. Desire
5. Commitment

1. ATTENTION
Whether meeting a person for the first time or getting introduced to a new product, a new idea or concept, people tend to put up a negative attitude of rejection at first. It might be a new concept from a familiar person (A leader introducing a new idea to his team), a new person reaching people from a familiar platform (a sales man marketing a familiar product) or a new concept from an entirely new person (a salesman trying to sell a new product), the first sub-conscious attitude to expect is Rejection: “Who is this?”, “What is he talking about?” What does he want with me?”, “Oh No, not another salesman”. These are some of the hidden concerns in the mind of your audience.
I said earlier that communication is about seeking to effect change. You want to change your audience’s attitude. And wherever change is expected, expect resistance. People want to defend and protect what they already know or possess. So the average person is reacting with rejection inside of him.
But you as a communicator need to get a positive attitude from your audience. What positive attitude? ATTENTION.
The only thing people have less of today, apart from disposable income and time, is attention. An effective communicator must then develop the skill of gaining people’s attention. Did I hear you say how? Here are some tips:
Always endeavor to start your message or speech with a “you” centered statement i.e. be listener-centered. Most likely start your message with a sincere compliment. Don’t start your communication by focusing on yourself. You can start by appreciating the person or audience for granting you the opportunity to speak to them in the first place.
A simple and sincere compliment about a person’s appearance or reputation, a sincere compliment about a congregation’s efforts on a building project, a sincere compliment about a business firm’s performance or market drive will do for a “you” centered entry. But DO NOT flatter. Don’t overdo the listener-centered stuff. Don’t take it to the extreme.
Another listener-centered method is to connect with your audience by saying something in his/her/their local language or dialect. In the same vein, every business organization or corporation has its own local language. Get yourself acquainted with the business culture of your audience.

2. INTEREST
Apart from rejection, your audience is likely to put up INDIFFERENCE. As a good communicator, you have to overcome it and replace it with another positive attitude, which is INTEREST.
It is at this stage that you will need to arouse the interest of your audience. You have to skillfully make him interested in your message or product. The keyword here is NEED, your audience’s need. You will have to link your product with the need of your audience. This is where you ask yourself the question: ‘Why is my message/product important to my audience?’ Until your audience becomes interested in your product/project/message, you cannot convince him to take action.
So, how do you arouse interest? Here are some tips: Make a big claim. You will have to say something that will make your audience say to himself:
“Wow! If that is true, I want to listen to everything he has to say”

But please DO NOT exaggerate. Don’t ever overstate the value of your products. Don’t tell people what they want to hear. Tell them what they NEED to hear. Just make sure you tell them in such a way that they will listen. Be realistic.

3. CONVICTION
Your audience is likely to move from indifference to SKEPTICISM. At this stage, your audience is questioning the authenticity of your claim in his mind. The field here is your audience’s mind. What you need to do at this stage is to give all the facts and figures related to your claim you made.
This stage is important because you are trying to overcome skepticism and gain a positive attitude: CONVICTION. To get your audience interested is not enough, you have to convince him. He has to be convinced that he needs what you have to offer. The way to convince is to be factual and give evidence lavishly.

4. DESIRE
This is the fourth stage. If you’ve succeeded in convincing your audience, then you’ve succeeded in changing his mind. Now the field moves from his mind to his emotion. What if your audience starts saying things like his mind “Well, I think it’s a nice idea, but not right now…”, “may be later.”
By this I mean your audience is exhibiting a negative attitude: PROCRASTINATION. He is convinced quite alright, but he is about to postpone his decision or commitment.
This is the stage that King Agrippa got to when Paul was addressing him, but he never made a decision (Acts 26:28-30). When you notice this in your audience, what do you do?
Create a positive attitude to counter procrastination. Create DESIRE.
Create a desire in him/her/them. Challenge your audience to DREAM about the end result. To convince him you worked on his mind, here you have to work on his emotion. You use words like “just imagine…” Create a dream. Tantalize his imagination. And as you do this, prepare to take him to the next level.

5. COMMITMENT
As you are trying to create a desire in your audience, please know that there is something that is keeping him away from taking action: FEAR. This is the fifth and the last negative attitude you have to deal with in your audience.
How can you help your audience take away fear?
Simple.
Give a call to action. Give a clear invitation for action. Give him hope and take away his fear. You have worked on his mind; you have worked on his emotion now the field moves to his WILL. This is the time to demand for the ultimate positive attitude: COMMITMENT.
It will be a waste to communicate and never ask for action. Scholars of Roman history say that when Cicero spoke, people marveled. When Caesar spoke, people marched. Cicero was impressive. Caesar was influential. What a difference!
Great messages end with a call to action. Todd Beamer, a hero on hijacked flight united 93, September 11 2001 made famous the phrase “Let’s roll”. His action and those of his colleagues may well have saved many lives.
Too many communicate without a clear call to action. Every email, phone call, conversation, speech or message can and probably should conclude with “Let’s do it” indicated: Let’s move forward, take the next step, get involved, play your part etc.
The five stages don’t have to always follow the order as highlighted above, but the ultimate is always COMMITMENT.

I want you to also note that it is not compulsory to push your audience to the level of commitment in a day or in a single contact. Be sensitive. Don’t push your audience. Don’t abuse the opportunity. Make sure by the time you are leaving your audience will be willing to have you around next time.
The “Ah! I See The Sea” Principle works. It works every time. It works everywhere. It works for marketing, advertisement, recruitment, fund raising, counseling, and even preaching.
Try it.

FIVE POSITIVE ATTITUDES GRID
ATTITUDE TO OVERCOME REJECTION INDIFFERENCE SKEPTICISM PROCRASTINATION FEAR
KEYWORD ENTRY NEED SOLUTION DREAM ACTION
HOW TO HANDLE • Be listener-centered
• Sincere compliment
• Speak audience language • Make a big claim
• Be Realistic
• Well - Worded • Facts and Figures
• Related Benefit
• Evidence Just Imagine • Clear Invitation
• Take away Fear
DESIRED ATTITUDE ATTENTION INTEREST CONVICTION DESIRE COMMITMENT
MIND EMOTION WILL

Leadership & Communication: 5 Positive Attitudes in Communication

The power to lead is the power to communicate
David Sarndoff
There is nothing quite so wonderful as a good idea, there is nothing as tragic as a good idea which cannot be communicated –
Donald Ely

There can never be leadership without communication. Communication is about effecting a change in your audience’s attitude. It is about motivating people to action.
Communication is not about impressing people. I have seen that a lot of communicators just only succeed in impressing their audience. But communication is about influencing people and not about impressing them. Impressing someone changes what he/she thinks about you but influencing someone changes what they do because of you.
Leaders care little about the impression they make instead they strive to influence others to positive action.
Great leaders are not evaluated on their eloquence, but on their impact.
The question now is how do I communicate with power as a leader? How can my communication have impact on my audience?
In this article, I want to share a principle of communication with you

5 Positive Attitudes of Communication
6. Attention
7. Interest
8. Conviction
9. Desire
10. Commitment

1. ATTENTION
Whether meeting a person for the first time or getting introduced to a new product, a new idea or concept, people tend to put up a negative attitude of rejection at first. It might be a new concept from a familiar person (A leader introducing a new idea to his team), a new person reaching people from a familiar platform (an itinerant pastor or a new pastor in an old parish) or a new concept from an entirely new person (a salesman trying to sell a new product), the first sub-conscious attitude to expect is Rejection: “Who is this?”, “What is he talking about?” What does he want with me?”, “Oh No, not another missionary”. These are some of the hidden concerns in the mind of your audience.
I said earlier that communication is about seeking to effect change. You want to change your audience’s attitude. And wherever change is expected, expect resistance. People want to defend and protect what they already know or possess. So the average person is reacting with rejection inside of him.
But you as a communicator need to get a positive attitude from your audience. What positive attitude? ATTENTION.
The only thing people have less of today, apart from disposable income and time, is attention. An effective communicator must then develop the skill of gaining people’s attention. Did I hear you say how? Here are some tips:
Always endeavour to start your message or speech with a “you” centered statement i.e. be listener-centered. Most likely start your message with a sincere compliment. Don’t start your communication by focusing on yourself. You can start by appreciating the person or audience for granting you the opportunity to speak to them in the first place.
A simple and sincere compliment about a person’s appearance or reputation, a sincere compliment about a congregation’s efforts on a building project, a sincere compliment about a business firm’s performance or market drive will do for a “you” centered entry. But DO NOT flatter. Don’t overdo the listener-centered stuff. Don’t take it to the extreme.

2. INTEREST
Apart from rejection, your audience is likely to put up INDIFFERENCE. As a good communicator, you have to overcome it and replace it with another positive attitude, which is INTEREST.
It is at this stage that you will need to arouse the interest of your audience. You have to skillfully make him interested in your message or product. The keyword here is NEED, your audience’s need. You will have to link your product with the need of your audience. This is where you ask yourself the question: ‘Why is my message/product important to my audience?’ Until your audience becomes interested in your product/project/message, you cannot convince him to take action.
So, how do you arouse interest? Here are some tips: Make a big claim. You will have to say something that will make your audience say to himself:
“Wow! If that is true, I want to listen to everything he has to say”
But please DO NOT exaggerate. Don’t ever overstate the value of your products. Don’t tell people what they want to hear. Tell them what they NEED to hear. Just make sure you tell them in such a way that they will listen. Be realistic.

3. CONVICTION
Your audience is likely to move from indifference to SKEPTICISM. At this stage, your audience is questioning the authenticity of your claim in his mind. The field here is your audience’s mind. What you need to do at this stage is to give all the facts and figures related to your claim you made.
This stage is important because you are trying to overcome skepticism and gain a positive attitude: CONVICTION. To get your audience interested is not enough, you have to convince him. He has to be convinced that he needs what you have to offer. The way to convince is to be factual and give evidence lavishly.

4. DESIRE
This is the fourth stage. If you’ve succeeded in convincing your audience, then you’ve succeeded in changing his mind. Now the field moves from his mind to his emotion. What if your audience starts saying things like his mind “Well, I think it’s a nice idea, but not right now…”, “may be later
By this I mean your audience is exhibiting a negative attitude: PROCRASTINATION. He is convinced quite alright, but he is about to postpone his decision or commitment.
Create a positive attitude to counter procrastination. Create DESIRE.
Create a desire in him/her/them. Challenge your audience to DREAM about the end result. To convince him you worked on his mind, here you have to work on his emotion. You use words like “just imagine…” Create a dream. Tantalize his imagination. And as you do this, prepare to take him to the next level.

5. COMMITMENT
As you are trying to create a desire in your audience, please know that there is something that is keeping him away from taking action: FEAR. This is the fifth and the last negative attitude you have to deal with in your audience.
How can you help your audience take away fear?
Simple.
Give a call to action. Give a clear invitation for action. Give him hope and take away his fear. You have worked on his mind; you have worked on his emotion now the field moves to his WILL. This is the time to demand for the ultimate positive attitude: COMMITMENT.
It will be a waste to communicate and never ask for action. For pastors, don’t leave that pulpit without giving a call for action.
Scholars of Roman history say that when Cicero spoke, people marveled. When Caesar spoke, people marched. Cicero was impressive. Caesar was influential. What a difference!
The five stages don’t have to always follow the order as highlighted above, but the ultimate is always COMMITMENT.

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net

The Problem With Leadership

By: Dan MacDonald

The Problem with Leadership
Why it is so hard for companies to find great leaders?
By Dan MacDonald

When leaders are chosen, the decision is often based on the wrong criteria. Many look to people with strong, charismatic personalities, or passion for personal achievement. They look to people who are commanding or who manage the efforts of others well. Some people even look to physical attributes as an indication of leadership ability.

The misconceptions of what makes a person a good leader are not limited to these factors. They also include our choices of personality characteristics. Some see great leaders as people who can mesmerize a crowd with their stage performance, who can make those around them relax with their confidence, or who can think circles around other senior people in the organization. In reality, these traits and characteristics are not indicators of great leaders. Rather, great leaders are characterized by their focus on integrity over stage performance, passion for what is best for the company over self-importance, humility and passing forward credit over ego, and empowering their people over making decisions on their behalf. There have been numerous books written, researches conducted, and data compiled that point to these findings; however, even extraordinary companies with insightful, intelligent, and experienced boards of directors and senior executives have erroneously chosen leaders based on their perception of leadership capabilities.

Take Hewlett Packard for instance. In January of 1999, Hewlett Packard’s board of directors met in the Garden Court Hotel in Palo Alto, California to discuss, among other things, the rapid changes in business caused by the unsubstantiated growth of internet IPOs. There was concern among the board that changing times may call for a leader better suited to lead the company into the future. In his book, How the Mighty Fall, Jim Collins summarizes this concern best, stating that, “HP’s stalling growth and languishing stock price relative to the skyrocketing technology sector lend credence to a growing worry that HP needed an entirely new type of leader”. At the meeting, Lewis Platt, then CEO of HP, suggested he retire early to make room for an appropriate leader. The board accepted and replaced him with Carly Fiorina, announcing, in July of that year, that she would become the next CEO of Hewlett Packard.

Lewis Platt and the board of directors believed that a new CEO with a fresh perspective would help mobilize the company towards the rapidly-changing landscape of the technology industry. Fiorina, who once held Forbes magazine’s ‘Most Powerful Woman in Business’ title and had an impressive background as Executive VP at AT&T, was just the type of executive HP was looking for. In retrospect, it seems as though the board of directors may have erred on its judgment; during Fiorina’s tenure HP realized its first loss, its stock price fell from $45.36 to $20.14 and heavy job losses were incurred. In comparison, Platt, the Ford Taurus-driving down-to-earth former CEO, grew HP from $16.2 to $42 billion and earned Chief Executive Magazine’s distinction as the 11th all time wealth creator.

After closely examining HP, it becomes evident that leadership plays an important role in the rise or fall of an organization. Leaders can either drive organizations to market capitalization of hundreds of millions dollars or to losses as equally great. It is hard to dispute that leadership does not play a vital role in the success of a company, yet many organizations do not have systems in place to identify and develop potential future leaders.

Consider Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart. From a young age, Walton displayed a natural ability to lead. In high school, he was the starting quarterback of the football team and never lost a game. He was Vice President of the student body in his junior year and president his senior year. He was voted ‘Permanent President’ of his graduating class in university. But Walton didn’t fit the standard description of a leader. He was not an Ivy League school graduate and did not hold an MBA. Walton was a humble, scrappy, pick-up driving country boy.

Walton went to work as a manager trainee at JC Penney three days after graduating university marking the beginning of a passionate love affair with the retail industry that would help shape the remainder of his life and affect the lives of millions of people. At JC Penney, Walton embraced the customer centric JC Penney approach to retailing – especially JC Penney Ideas #2 and #3, guiding principles related to giving the customer the most value for their money. But Walton was not the most thorough employee; he hated making the customer wait while he completed paperwork, so his books were a mess. His boss often threatened to fire him, saying he was not cut out for the retail business. Walton managed to hold onto his position because of his ability as a salesman. After only 18 months with the company, Walton resigned.

If JC Penney had systems in place to identify the leadership potential in Walton, they may have been able to entice him to stay and develop him into their future leader. Instead, he started his own department store which would rival and eventually surpass JC Penney in the quest for retail dominance. As many companies began to adopt the ‘promote from within’ mindset, these types of leadership development systems are becoming more and more common. The problem is many of these companies base their criteria for identifying future leaders on misconceptions of what makes a great leader.

Very few people can pick great leaders, so the question remains—how do we create a system for identifying great leaders in the early stages of their development? Do we use psychometrics profiles to identify the leaders with the best traits and fast track them on a path to more senior roles? Do we let the people inside or outside the organization decide who will be the next leader? Many decisions must be made but before making these decisions we must be aware of our faults in choosing leaders. Organizations need new ways of deciding who will be a leader, as leadership impacts the organization as a whole. Hard-working employees rely on their leaders to make the right choices for the company and ensure the employees have a future with the organization.

It’s difficult to know the right answers but it’s clear that investing in the development of potential future leaders will provide a company with advantages over organizations that hire people from outside to fill internal leadership roles. As a result, companies are turning to post secondary institutions like the Northern Alberta Institute of Technology (NAIT) to assist them to develop their leaders from within. Their innovative Leadership Program will assist companies to develop the skills and abilities of their potential leaders (http://www.nait.ca/cit/245.htm). Forward thinking companies are already realizing the benefits that can be achieved by investing in their people and consequently the future of their organization.

Sources: Collins, J. (2009 ). How the Mighty Fall. USA: Harpercollins. HP. (2009). Executive Team. Retrieved September 8, 2009 from www.hp.com/hpinfo/execteam/bios/fiorina.html. Entrepreneur. (2009). Sam Walton. Retrieved September 8, 2009 from www.entrepreneur.com/growyourbusiness/radicalsandvisionaries/article197560.html. Walton, S. (1992). Sam Walton: Made in America. USA/Canada: Bantam Books. 

Article Source: http://www.leadershiparticles.net