How to Handle an Office Romance: Do’s and Don’ts

For Women & Co. by Helen Jane Hearn, HelenJane.com - 02/18/2013

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Have you exchanged flirtatious looks in the elevator? Left happy hour drinks with that one special person three cubicles over? You’re not alone. With the U.S. ranking third in terms of the number of yearly hours spent on the job, it’s no wonder that we would seek romantic relationships at work. In the latest office romance poll from Vault.com, 59% of employees surveyed say they’ve been involved in a romantic relationship with a colleague.
Younger workers seem to have embraced the office romance as the norm. According to a February 2012 poll by Workplace Options, a human resource consultancy specializing in work-life balance, 84% of millennial employees (ages 17-34) say they would engage in romance with a co-worker, compared to 36% of Generation X workers (ages 30-45) and 29% of Baby Boomer employees (ages 46-65).
“The nature of human beings is to pair up, and the office is no exception,” says Jennifer Golick, a marriage and family counselor in Saint Helena, California. “Since the majority of adults spend 80% of their waking lives in their jobs, it’s understandable that couples will form within that environment.” Here are a few suggestions on the right and wrong ways to handle a workplace affair:

DO: Remain professional.

When in doubt, keep it a secret. Stephan Labossiere, an Atlanta-based certified relationship expert, coach, and publisher of StephanSpeaks.com, encourages daters to err on the side of privacy. “Nobody needs to know your business!” he says. Golick agrees: “The biggest mistake that office couples make is bringing their relationship to work. Fighting at work or making relationship conflict known to other employees isn’t appropriate.”

DON’T: Ignore the handbook.

Office intimacies can lead to harassment accusations and lost productivity, so checking your company policy is a great first step. If there’s not a clearly defined dating policy, check the anti-harassment policy. “As a proactive approach, organizations should have clearly outlined policies about the expectations of those who are engaged in intimate relationships,” says Golick.

The biggest mistake that office couples make is bringing their relationship to work.

DO: Date on your level.

Definitely avoid dating up or down the chain. Having a romance with your boss or your employee can be grounds for harassment charges, as the perception that the relationship isn’t equal puts the company at a greater risk. In the Vault.com survey, 26% of participants say they have dated a subordinate, while 18% have dated a supervisor.

DON’T: Get carried away with social sharing.

With social media crossing the boundaries of private life and work life, you may want to reconsider sharing late-night photos taken with Joe from the accounting department. If it seems that Joe is giving you an unfair advantage due to your relationship, for example, letting you turn your expense reports in late, there could be grounds for dismissal.

DO: Have an exit strategy.

As in most business partnerships, an exit strategy should be one of the first things both parties agree to. While talking about a breakup early in a relationship can be sobering, it’s worth the effort if too many issues are at stake. If the relationship becomes serious enough, it may be necessary to have one of the romantically involved seek employment elsewhere.
Workplace couples may have a commitment edge on couples that meet in other, more traditional ways. According to Vault.com’s 2010 survey, 20% of office couples say their relationship led to marriage. Among the most famous married couples that met at work: President and First Lady Barack and Michelle Obama.
Romance in the workplace can be successful; it just takes a little extra handbook consulting. If the employee handbook isn’t clear, a good practice is to be as discreet as possible. When it comes to office romance, you can’t be too professional.



Source: https://www.citibank.com