Since I started learning the amazing techniques of expanding one’s awareness and changing emotional states, I have come to a very interesting conclusion about why some people cannot master building relationships of any kind.
A small part of NLP is about gaining rapport with different kinds of people. You can do this by using many techniques, such as by mirroring or matching emotional states. You can literally make any person like you by mastering certain NLP rapport-building techniques.
The deeper I went into this subject, the clearer became to me the reason why some people seem to be unsuccessful in building any kind of relationships. Here is the conclusion I came to.
You might not be able to build relationships because of these reasons:
1.You may have a different than usual emotional state. If you are too happy or too upset most of the time, you will be out of rapport with the majority of people. You will notice that happy people hang out with happy people, and those who complain like to be with miserable people. However, if you are on some extreme, it will be just a very few people who would share the same emotions with you. Therefore, you are likely to have little or no friends.
Just a little note about being too happy. When I got into personal development, I became extremely happy and self-confident. Consequently, some of my friends started avoiding me because I was no longer matching their emotional state. However, that did not put me off because other people no longer had the power to influence my emotional state. So I continued to be happy with myself and soon I started attracting other happy people.
So if you are too happy, you shouldn’t get less happy only because you currently have no real friends. Trust me, if you remain in this state, you must start attracting other very happy people. You currently have friends who reflect your past emotional state and it will take some time to transition from these friends to the new ones. But it will happen because of the never changing law you all know very well (or at least I hope you do) the law of attraction.
2.You may use too slow/fast motions. If you are hyper-active or super-slow, people might start avoiding you because they are out of rapport with you. People like to hang out with similar people – those who talk, move and behave in a similar way.
3.You may have too high/low pitched voice. Even that puts people off building relationships. The same applies if your voice is too loud or too quiet.
4.You may use different way of communication. Believe it or not, some people are insulted if you talk in a completely different way to theirs. If you talk very fast whilst the other person talks slow, he or she will think that you disrespect him/her. Or if your conversation is full of feelings whilst another person uses technical vocabulary, you will find it hard to build any kind of relationship.
Here I have given just a few examples of what can make or break the rapport with another person. So don’t think that something is wrong with you only because you have no or little friends. If you want to have more friends, you just need to tweak your language, motions or your emotional state and in no time you will be building relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling.
Source: http://www.personal-development-coach.ne
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